Uncle John

I have been busy. Here is something from Uncle John to tide you over.

I see the Reds have a new player. The name is Homer Bailey. Now there's a baseball name. Tragically, Homer is a pitcher. I think I'd put in for a name change. When I was a kid and a hopeless Reds fan, their catcher was Ed Bailey. Bill Bailey never made it as a baseball player because he would never go home. I see the LPG has a young golfer named Birdie Kim. Maybe Spike Lee should have been volleyball player. I wish he were doing something other than what he is.

Quinn Snyder, who led the Mizzou Tigers from a perennial strong basketball team to a total shambles in a few short years, just got hired by the NBA to coach a team in their "development league." I didn't know there was such a thing. As far as I know he couldn't find a job anywhere last year. At the other end of the spectrum, Mr. Donovan is going to continue coaching college ball down in Florida for $3.5 million/year.

Have you ever noticed that when you decide to be charitable and send some money to one of the outfits seeking contributions, the thank you notice that comes a few days later invariably contains a solicitation for additional giving.

There was a beauty contest in Saudi Arabia. No, of course they would not debase women in this way. Further, it's hard to judge a woman's beauty when her face is covered. Rather, this contest was for camels. Hundreds of camels were picked from the throngs as being the most appealing. The owners of the winning camels were each given an SUV. There is some irony here.

Did I read that Hillary seeks suggestions from the public as regards what her campaign theme song should be? This seems like just too rich a straight line for any comedian or adverse pundit. I'm a loser, Cold as Ice, the list could go on and on.

William Jefferson, not William Jefferson Clinton but just plain William Jefferson, congressman from New Orleans has been indicted with 16 corruption related felony counts. This is the cat who commandeered a rescue helicopter and crew to take him to his home in the flooded section of New Orleans after Katrina where he retrieved some goodies. He is also the cat who had $90,000 cash in his freezer in his government office. Now that's what they mean by "cold cash." He won reelection despite these things having been known. He was then put on the Homeland Security committee until the obstructionist loud mouths protested too intently.

The STL public schools have gone through a multi-year process of losing accreditation. Apparently it isn't easy to lose. You get several chances. It's sort of like that time the USSR beat the USA for the gold medal in the Olympics. Unlike the USSR, STL couldn't make good on any of the do overs. The school board is in chaos and has been for a long time. They have paid millions to outside consultants; they have built beautifully renovated facilities, only to have them trashed; they have had wretched attendance by students and teachers alike; etc., etc. Though it certainly is not among the top problems, the district is also short on revenues. But then again, so is every school district ever known. The state finally has announced it will be appointing a team to run the STL public schools. Now the state has been sued. By whom? Well, by the STL school board. I guess they weren't out of money after all.

I heard a doctor on the radio being interviewed about raising certain points of interest on the upper torso of mature ladies. He was asked about scarring. He said they always endeavored to minimize scarring. I didn't think this was a very responsive answer and apparently neither did the interviewer. The interviewer persisted with, "Well, how visible will the scar be?" The good doctor said it depended on the degree to which they drooped before the procedure and on the degree to which the patient wanted them raised. I'm suddenly thinking that one can be an idiot and still be a doctor.

The Cardinals had injuries or illnesses to their left fielder, third baseman, shortstop, catcher and a utility player within a short spell. Most have returned but now the back up catcher also went down. The Redbirds hired this fellow named Stinnett who has caught the past few games. I suspect he is one of those folk who is younger than he looks. He looks like he could have caught Warren Spahn. The Cards were doing pretty good when playing the Pirates, Rockies, Astros, and Reds. I'm not sure if the recent experience is representative of what awaits.

I see our Senate voted against a provision to deport felons among the 12 million illegal aliens. Hmm.

I see Paris Hilton tired of jail rather quickly. Somehow she got transferred to detention in her home because a shrink said she would have a breakdown otherwise. Can you imagine all the inmates across the country slapping their foreheads, regretting that they had never thought to try that one. Anyway, some judge intervened and had her roused from her house and sent back to the brig. I'd love to know what exactly transpired to facilitate her release.

[My wife] and I went to a Shakespeare in the park event last night. This year it is "Much Ado about Nothing." They put on a very funny production.

I've been adding 5 miles per week on my weekly long bike ride. I'm up to 55 now. I got off to a late start this year. At the risk of repeating myself, it's the global wind increase, not the temperature increase, that is being made manifest. I'm sure Frisbee players will confirm this. [My wife] and I have a balloon ride pending but it is forever being canceled due to wind. My main beef about the wind, however, is the aggravation it causes me on bike rides.

What to do on Monday nights now that "24" is over?

I see the government is suspending it's new passport requirements for travelers to Mexico, Canada, etc. They were helplessly asea and impossibly behind. They were wrecking plans of about half a million travelers, and counting. Is there any bureaucracy anywhere that operates at even a minimally acceptable level? Maybe it is time that politicians quit running on what they will do on all the big issues and just simply run on a pledge to make the myriad agencies responsive to the citizens who pay them and who expect a service from them from time to time.

The last challenge word was "bibulous," meaning fond of alcoholic drink. I wonder if many people knew this but pretended they didn't lest they appear guilty by association. The trivia question was "CBS" which stands for Columbia Broadcast System. The lyric was from "19th Nervous Breakdown" by the Rolling Stones. These three challenges almost comprised a no hitter.

The new challenge word is "turpitude." The trivia question is: name five of the characters in the cartoon "Peanuts." The new lyrics challenge is: "If I could make a wish,/ I think I'd pass./ Can't think of anything I need./ No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound,/ Nothing to eat, no books to read./ Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak,/ So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep./ Sometimes, all I need is __ __ __ __ __,/ And to love you."